7 Tips for Helping Your Child Cope with Back-to-School Anxiety

As the summer winds down and the first day of school approaches, it's not uncommon for children to experience a flutter of butterflies—or even a whirlwind of worry—about returning to the classroom. Whether it's starting at a new school, worrying about making friends, or the pressure of academics, back-to-school anxiety is a real challenge many children face.

As parents, we can support our children and help ease their transition back to school by offering support and guidance and getting our daily rhythms in order before the start of the new school year.

 
 

Identify the Signs of Anxiety

First, it's crucial to recognize the signs of anxiety in children, which can differ significantly from those in adults. Being alert to these changes is the first step in providing the support your child might need.

Young children:

  • become clingy

  • start throwing tantrums

  • revert to behaviors they've outgrown

Older children:

  • may lose interest in activities they once enjoyed,

  • have trouble sleeping

  • complain of physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches.

Open Lines of Communication

Being available and approachable for your children's feelings is key to helping them navigate back-to-school anxiety. Create a safe space where they can express themselves without fear of judgment. Instead of yes-or-no questions, try asking open-ended ones like, "How are you feeling about starting school again?" or "What are you most looking forward to or concerned about?" This can encourage them to open up and share their thoughts and worries with you, giving you the opportunity to provide the support they need.

10 Questions Parents Can Ask Their Kids to Help Them Adjust

  1. What are you most excited about as school starts?

  2. Is there anything that worries you about going back to school?

  3. How can I help make your first day easier?

  4. What are some things you’re looking forward to learning this year?

  5. Are there any friends you’re excited to see again or new ones you hope to make?

  6. What was your favorite part of last school year, and what would you like to be different this year?

  7. How do you feel about your new teacher(s) or classroom?

  8. Is there anything specific you’d like to talk about or ask me regarding school?

  9. What would make you feel more comfortable as the school year begins?

  10. Can you think of anything that would make your school days more fun or enjoyable?


Normalize Their Feelings

Let your child know that feeling anxious about a new school year is normal and that they're not alone in experiencing these emotions. Share your own stories of nervousness when facing new situations. This can be incredibly reassuring and can help them feel understood.


Establish a Routine

Having a consistent daily routine and rhythm provides stability and security for children. It also helps us adults stay organized and calmer. If we are chaotic and anxious, our energy will be felt throughout the household and not benefit our children or loved ones.

Before school starts, start planning out your daily routine. Start with a realistic timeframe for your family and mimic your morning and evening routines. This can include getting on a schedule with the time you eat meals each day, setting bedtime and wake-up times, setting aside time for some reading, etc.

MOM HACK: As a mom, you might want to start with your routine first! How do you want your mornings to go? Download the guide below to help you establish your own intentional morning and evening routines to ease your family into a new back-to-school schedule.

Visit the School Together

If your child is nervous about starting at a new school or a new grade, try to visit the school before the first day. Most schools have an open family house night, so make sure you find out when yours will be taking place and try to get the whole family to attend to support one another. Familiarizing your child with the environment, their new classroom, and meeting their teacher can alleviate some of the fears of the unknown, and who knows, it might even get them *excited* to start the new school year!!

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Teach Coping Skills

Equip your child with simple anxiety-reduction techniques they can use when feeling overwhelmed. Deep breathing exercises, counting to ten, or visualizing a happy place can all be effective. Practice these techniques together during calm moments so they can use them when needed.

 
 


Keep Your Own Anxieties in Check

As I mentioned above, children often pick up on their parents' emotions. If you feel anxious about your child's return to school or are overwhelmed by an already busy schedule or everyday stressors, try to manage your feelings so that you don't inadvertently heighten your child's anxiety.

Approach the new school year with a calm and positive attitude. Get yourself organized, set routines that are just for you, and do what you can to keep your home environment calm (two of my favorite things are playing classical or instrumental music or diffusing essential oils).

Moms of faith, you might enjoy this prayer: A Litany of Grace for Overwhelmed Mothers to ease your own anxieties and stress during this hectic time of the year.

Stay Involved

Once school starts, stay involved in your child's school life as much as your schedule allows. Attend school events, get to know their teachers and friends, and show an interest in their daily activities. If you can attend field trips for your younger children, volunteer for school events where they can see you, and even pick them up for school some days (I understand that not everyone can pick up their child every single day or attend every event, the point is to do what you can when you can). Getting involved in these ways helps you see them in their school environment, understand what they might be experiencing, and show them that they have your support.


Seek Professional Help if Needed

If your child's anxiety persists or worsens, it might be helpful to consult a professional. A psychologist or counselor who specializes in children and adolescents can provide additional strategies to manage anxiety effectively. If you feel like you need extra support, seeking professional guidance on managing your children's anxieties and your own can also be beneficial.



Back-to-school anxiety is manageable, and your child can confidently start the new school year with the proper support. Remember, the goal isn't to eliminate anxiety entirely but to help your child learn to manage it. I hope that some of these strategies can help you and your family have a successful and enjoyable school year.




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